Meanderings

Trapped!!

Now I know what my problem is,,,trapped in a female body with a male brain. Gawd, what could be worse??

Your Brain is 40.00% Female, 60.00% Male

You have a total boy brain Logical and detailed, you tend to look at the facts And while your emotions do sway you sometimes... You never like to get feelings too involved

What Gender Is Your Brain?

First Bike Rides

I would be the first person to say that I'm all for new and creative inventions to save time, money and resources.

This new trike-bike however, is destined to save Moms and Dads the time of holding on to the back of the bike seat  until junior is ready to take off on his own.

I say that is just wrong, wrong, wrong!

Most kids today spend almost no time with their parents!

Yes, today's society is different than the one I grew up in. Most married couples both have to work to make ends meet (I do). Kids are at daycare or school all day; okay, they are learning social skills.  Parents are tired from mental or physical stress all day; it's much easier to give the kiddies a gameboy or Xbox, TV, DVD player or other sorted 'entertainment' toys to keep them quiet and out of the way.

But do you remember your first bike ride 'all by yourself'??

My first bike was a birthday gift from Mom and Dad on my 7th birthday. It was a blue Schwinn two wheeler and I thought I was in hog heaven. Many years later  I learned that Dad had to go to City Loan to borrow the $35 to buy that bike and pay for it for almost a whole year (we weren't very rich in material things when I was young).

After work, Dad would hold onto the back of the seat and we would 'fly' down the driveway. In those days (and still today) our driveway in southern Louisiana consisted of crushed oyster shells or what looks like small, white clam shells.  Very rough on the knees!

For three days, every evening before the mosquitoes came out in full force, Dad and I would go outside to 'ride' the bike.  On the third day, just about dusk, he let go of the seat and I kept on riding.

When I turned to look, there was Dad, standing there with a big smile on his face like I had just won first place in an Olympic contest. I was so proud of myself because I had made him proud. I had done something!

Sure, I had my fair share of spills and scraped and bloodied knees, but my sense of self worth at that particular moment carries over to this day. I still remember that feeling of accomplishment, and it comforts me.

What are we robbing our kids of today?

CyberSex-The Next Step

Un Farooking believable!!

This Wired article goes into detail about a new program from, where else, southern California!

This new site combines on-line chat rooms and teledildonics for the ultimate experience for singles and lonelies,,,

Whatever!

Sex Offender Database

In an email today, I received this link.

I live in a small, cornfield town in central Ohio. I entered the zip code for my town and up popped a list with 10 names!

Four out of those ten were convicted of rape; the other six for sexual misconduct with a minor.

Is this fair to these guys (yes, they were all men on the list)?

There's always two sides to every story. If it were my husband, brother, son or some other relative on that list, I would say it's just not right that anyone can get online and dig up dirt.

If I had a young child and lived next door to one of these guys, I would want to know. 

I guess it just depends on which group you are in whether you feel it's right or wrong for this information to be so easily accessible.

Strange news

Listening to the news on the way home from work today, the story about the train derailment in Japan was discussed.

The report sounded something along the lines "officials report the train was going too fast when it went off the tracks".

Now I know how they meant it to sound, but isn't any speed too fast when a train comes off the track??

Day of Random

Humble

Today's Random Rules

Puffy, over at The Project Bowl has a new me-me for today. I didn't catch it in time to post a forewarning, so I'll post it now and then make a separate entry with my word!

On Wednesday 27th April 2005 the Day of Random beings. To play simply title a thread in your blog "Day of Random" and post just one word in that post. The first random word which filters into your brain. Enable comments and then your visitors should leave a one word reply of randomness in response to your blogged word: the first word that came into their mind! Each of your blogging visitors then should do the same on their blogs, starting off with their own random word and seeing what randomness their visitors inspire... are you up for chaotic randomness of silly words that could follow?

Puns

Since Denny is having some problems getting to his 'pun' archive, I thought I would throw one in for him,,,

Did you hear the one about the short fortune-teller who escaped from prison,,,

If I Were...

Man, I never in my wildest dreams imagined that the fame and fortune of my first job stretching nutria hides would earn for me the privilege of completing Dash's me-me.

If I could be a bonnie pirate, I would live in the Grand Cayman Islands where every year there is a celebration in my honor. I would sail in on my ship and kidnap any good-looking swashbuckler I wanted and take him back to my Captain's cabin. Depending on how good-looking and swashy he was, I would let him go back to the island before the next celebration.

If I could be a midget stripper, well come to think of it, stretching nutria hides is almost like stripping a midget!

If I could be an innkeeper, the asses would stay in the stable!

If I could be a missionary, I would think of another position!

If I could be a gardener, I'd pluck around all day!

Okay, now it is my turn to tag!!

Following there is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you).

Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other suckers bloggers.

Here's the list:

• If I could be a scientist…
• If I could be a farmer…
• If I could be a musician…
• If I could be a doctor…
• If I could be a painter…
• If I could be a gardener…
• If I could be a missionary…
• If I could be a chef…
• If I could be an architect…
• If I could be a linguist…
• If I could be a psychologist…
• If I could be a librarian…
• If I could be an athlete…
• If I could be a lawyer…
• If I could be an innkeeper…
• If I could be a professor…
• If I could be a writer…
• If I could be a backup dancer…
• If I could be a llama-rider…
• If I could be a bonnie pirate…
• If I could be a midget stripper…
• If I could be a proctologist…
• If I could be a TV-Chat show host…
• If I could be an actor…
• If I could be a judge…

I tag tanker at Mostly Cajun, All American and Opinionated just because he is!

Next I tag Mamamontezz coz she didn't get to come to the wrekyll in jekyll and she needs to get crazy again!

Lastly, I bestow the honor of the meme unto kane because his was the first blog I started to read on a regular basis and the reason I decided to blog!

Happy Endings

Okay, divas, you've all gotta love this next story:

The Curtain Rods

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.  On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. And then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.  Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days; in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. And finally, when they could not take the stench any longer they decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, the new couple could not find a buyer for their stinky house.  Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to list their house or return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.

He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed in a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home,,,

including the curtain rods!

I love a happy ending, don't you?