Meanderings

Something Pretty

Not everything around here these days are doom and gloom. Yes, I'm still going through chemo weekly and radiations daily, but that doesn't mean we can't pretty things up when we have a sane moment or two.  Granted, those are few and far between, but there are a few!

A few months ago when I visited my sister in Arkansas I found an old ice-cream parlour chair at The country junktion. I love going to this little place; if they don't have what you are looking for it can't be found. If you are ever in the backwoods of Arkansas, look them up.

Anyway, back to my chair,,,

It was a little rusted and didn't have a seat, but I saw some potential there.

My brother-in-law and sister have been staying with us this past month or so. He takes me to my treatments every day, but other than that is the type that is always into doing something.

Aha, thought I, I could kill two birds with one stone!!!  With a little 'honey-do' list in hand, I asked my brother-in-law if he wanted something to do,,,famous last words!  He sanded and painted the chair and my sister and I made a new seat and cover for it.

It's going to look great in my master bathroom!!!

S.O.S.

I'm trying not to whine and complain, coz nobody likes a crybaby! Sometimes, though, it's hard to stay positive.

I've moved into my second round of chemo which I get to space out to once a week. So far, not so bad.  Still no hair, but I'm hoping when it comes back in it might be jet black with no gray!

Feeding tube,,,ugh what can I say about that wonder appendage?? I don't have to use it yet since I can still swallow but I have been using it as extra supplement. It's actually kind of comical if you can imagine two people with two left hands trying to carefully plunge what I'm sure is a great tasting formula into a tube sticking out of your stomach. 

The most fun part of my day (and I'm being facetious here!) is the daily radiation. To hold you still so the radiation beam goes to the same location each time a plastic mask is snapped down over your face to hold you in place. THAT SUCKS!! but it only lasts for about 10 minutes so with the help of a nerve pill I get through it!

One thing that gets me through my days is all the thoughts, prayers and good wishes from all my family, friends and even people I have never met!  On the counter at the radiation office is a bowl of 'wishing stones' where anyone can write a message. My sisters left this one for me when they were there and I look for it every day and know that I am surrounded by love and will get through this!!

Feeding Tubes

Yep, today is the day that I get mine...

Since the radiation area is so close to my esophagus the doctor wants one put in if/when (right!) the esophagus swells up and I can't swallow food. 

I'm not the happiest cracker in the box about this surgergy...oh, you couldn't tell?

Somehow it seems like an act of giving up. Don't ask me why I feel this way, I just do. 

I, personally, am not giving up! Sometimes it seems that that would be the easiest way to go, but does anyone who knows me ever hear of me doing anything the easy way???

1,,,2,,,3,,,Go!

Okay, today is the day that I start my radiation,,,not that I'm all that excited about it but I guess the sooner we get this show on the road the sooner I can get on with the rest of my life!

Kevin took today and tomorrow off work so we can enjoy some time while I still feel good (relatively speaking, that is)...

My daughter will arrive on Saturday to spend a few days taking care of dear old Mom. Guess she'll get initiated into driving in Houston traffic Monday when she has to take me to radiation....Lord help us!! *S*

My sister and her hubby went home last night to spend some well earned time off. They will be back next week after my sister's doctor's appointment. That's what happens I guess when you get old,,,you spend your free time sitting in doctor's offices. Not really, just seems that way sometimes!

I know I've talked about some of the beautiful soft hats I've gotten from friends. Yesterday my sister and I took some pics of them so I can share them with you. This one from Joy is really pretty with a "flapper design" on the side. I'm not sure if that is what you call it, but it's what it reminds me of when I see it. LOVELY, let me tell ya! My sister is modeling it because I couldn't get a good pic of the side while I was wearing it. It took a while for me to snap the pic because I would bust out laughing everytime I went to snap the picture. I told my sis all she needed was a placard with her name and prison number on it to make it a mug shot!! *LOL*  (look out photoshop, here I come!)  Thank you Joy for providing me with joy and a hat!

This lovely green "slouch hat" (that's what I call it, not sure what is correct) from Sydney is a welcome addition,,,it's about the only piece in my wardrobe that is actually 'in style' right now! Great job making this one, I love it!

The next little hat is SUPER soft with absolutely gorgeous detail!! Made by THE Christina herself, I love love love this one to death! Just look at the detail,,,

The pictures do not do these hats justice! I know every stitch was made with love and that means so much! 

The Next Six Weeks

My appointment with the radiologist was eye-opening this morning.

Spoil alert,,,this post contains whining, griping, grumbling and probably some good old fashioned feeling sorry for myself. I'll try to keep it PG rated.

It sounds like the next six weeks is going to be anything but a picnic....

The doctor first ran a 20 ft scope down my nose to check on my vocal cords. I haven't been able to speak much above a whisper since I got sick. The Dr reports one side of my vocal cords are paralyzed and probably won't get any better. So, guess I'm going to have to practice the 'Speak softly and carry a big stick' philosophy. I'll use the stick to get someone's attention and then tell them what I want them to hear!

I also had a form made to cover my head and chest that bolts into a table so the radiation goes in the same place each time. Sort of weird to see yourself in plastic sitting in a corner!! 

The bad part of this is that the radiation will be very close to my esophagus which the doctor is concerned will swell, not allowing me to swallow. Sooo, I get another new procedure called a feeding tube to use for my meals until this swelling goes down. Can't wait for that! NOT  We did get a new Ninja blender not long ago that emulsifies anything you put in it,,,wonder how Papa John's pizza would work? 

Okay, can you tell I'm not the happiest camper in the world? Sorry,,,guess we have to take the good with the bad, huh? I asked about doing my therapy a little closer to home, but the doctor was pretty sure that at some point during treatment I would have to be in the hospital and wanted me to be downtown.  Dam, dam, dam!

On a positive note (yes there is one here!) I got the most beautiful hat in the mail this afternoon. I've never seen one styled quite like this and it is LOVELY! Thank you so very much!

My Support Group

How do you think your family and friends would step up in a time of crisis? What would they do? How would they do it?

You'll never really know (and let's hope the majority of you will never need to find out) until it happens!

I happen to think I have one of the most efficient and caring support groups around!

My sister and her husband (both retired) have dropped everything and moved into our guest room. With help from their younguns to wrangle the cats left at home they have been able to to just move in and take over!

Who has a brother-in-law that does all the laundry (unmentionables included) and never even bats as eye as he washes, dries, folds and puts them away?  Of course I've had this same brother-in-law for the past 43 years but I still think it's pretty manly of him to take over.

What sister, after getting over a broken hip herself will jump up and down to refill tea cups at the drop of a hat?

This isn't the only family take-over by far. When one sister has a doctor's appointment another sister and her husband take their holiday and step right up to the plate! 

When the brother-in-law has business that has to be taken care of, two other sisters convince their bosses they need to take vacation to come to Houston to 'visit'. 

Now my younguns are in on the action. My eldest was able to rearrange her schedule (a long distance truck driver) to spend a few days at the end of July for a visit. My next daughter in line will be here the last week of August while my sister has other obligations to take care of.  My son informed me he will be here the last weekend of Sept to visit.  Sounds like they are spreading out visits to keep Mom looking forward to something?

Even my older brother is in on the rotation. He was here just last week for a visit, bringing goodies and lots of hugs and kisses.

I know it sounds sappy, but i don't think I would have made it this far without the support I've already gotten.

This doesn't even count the friends who come by with frozen meals, words of encouragement, soft hats to keep my bald head from sunburning and just letting me know they are there! 

It also doesn't even count the endless cards and prayers and positive thoughts from friends and family from around the world.

If/when I do win the war against this tumor it will be as much from everything done by friends and family as it is by the medical community. 

A big thanks to ALL who are there for me!

I can't forget my biggest supporter, either. My hubby Kevin has been there through thick and thin, keeping my bald head warm at night, running up and down stairs to get me a snack or a pain pill or just lay down beside me to rub my back when it hurts. Sometimes not getting a lot of sleep himself because I've tossed and turned throughout the night.

I've tried to remember everyone but know that there is probably someone I've failed to mention. If so, I'll catch you on the flip side! 

A New Plan

You know you are in trouble when a new doctor calls you and their opening statement is 'We hear you are well enough now to start,,,'

The radiologist called to set up a consultation for Friday.

I'm not sure what this new treatment is going to be like, but I'm sure it's no picnic. I have a friend going through or just about completed with his treatments. I haven't talked to him in a while so LEROY if you can send me an email and let me know what I'm in for it would be nice.

I know everyone's treatment is different, everyone reacts different so I'll be winging it for a while. 

Will keep everyone posted on the new games as they go on,,,

Shrinkage!

A typical man would never agree that shrinkage is a good thing.

However, I'm not typical nor am I a man! 

Tests results from yesterday show that my tumor has been reduced in size by 5 mm. That doesn't sound like a lot and I sure wish it were more, but I'll take it! At least the tumor hasn't grown or decided to migrate to any other part of my body.

Two of the lymph nodes involved have been decreased in size by half, so I take that as a good sign too!

The radiation doctor will be calling in the next week to schedule daily radiation along with weekly chemo. 

I'm sick of being sick and I just want to get better as soon as I can.  We've got a lot more traveling to do and sites to see.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has sent prayers and good wishes my way. Looks like they are working.

A VERY special thank you to a lady and her gent from over San Anton way for the visit last weekend. It was good to see you and thanks for all the goodies. 

I can't talk very well or for long because the tumor is pinching the nerve to my vocal cords, but if anyone wants to text or email jump on in! I told Kevin I need a little loudspeaker to use but so far he has failed to find one,,,or rather failed to look for one might be more like it! *S* 

 

Weight Loss

Okay, what are most women striving for today? Yep, weight loss.

Some of us, though, really would rather not lose weight so fast...I've only lost 16 pounds this past month since I started chemo, but it's WHERE I've lost it that sorta sucks,,,yep, the place I could least afford to lose from, my boobs!  BAH!

I'm starting to feel a little more human today. I'm sure that means it's time for another treatment. 

Have a scan on Monday to see how much the tumor has shrunk. My Dr will bring it up before the 'tumor board' on Monday afternoon and we have an appointment on Tuesday to discuss further options.

Go Me!

For everyone who's been sending emails, texts, cards, prayers and thoughts, thanks so very much! They are working!

For my family who has dropped everything and come to stay, words or deeds will never be able to repay you enough!

Two lovely ladies, two lovely hats!

Saturday was a great day!  I survived another day. Sometimes we take that for granted; I know I always have! 

I also received a package from two beautiful ladies (inside and out)  from over San Antonio way. Two beautiful hats for a very sore, bare head. I never knew losing one's hair would actually hurt so bad. 

Trust me, the model and knitter here looks MUCH better than I modeling the soft hats, Cancer Sucks!

The hubby and brother-in-law have been working on the honey-do list. My sisters have been pitching in and doing for me...

Boy will I have a lot to pay forward when I get to feeling better!!

Love you all!